my slanting eyes

Earlier, while having breakfast with the boyfriend, we were talking about how much of a person's destiny depends on how he or she ends up looking like.

Take Obama for example. What if he ended up resembling his mom, Dr. Ann Durham, more than his dad, Mr. Barack Obama Sr.? Would the hoopla surrounding his candidacy and then eventual presidency been as big if the color evidenced by his skin were nonexistent?

Being born to a Chinese dad and a Filipina mum, I've often mused how differently my personal circumstances would have turned had I ended up looking more Filipino than Chinese. One of the things I discovered as an adult was that I was actually a "secret" baby. When my mum was pregnant with me, she and my dad were "in hiding" in Lucena City -- my dad (who was already 40 at that time) from his proud Chinese family, my mum from her first (then abusive) husband and older daughters.

No one from the Oyeks found out about me or saw me until my baptism. They rushed to Lucena upon hearing from a trusted distant relative/housekeeper that my parents sired a girl who was an absolute xerox copy of her dad.

My mum, in more than one occassion, herself have often told me how "buti na lang" I ended up looking like Papa. Otherwise, paternity doubts would have most likely been raised (or they wouldn't have found me as adorable :p).

And then there's the issue of "fitting in" with the family. Since I was practically raised by the Oyeks (Papa and then later the aunts) during the 80s when our grandmother's every birthday was celebrated with everyone imperatively wearing red, I can only imagine in retrospect how difficult it would've been if I had darker skin or bigger eyes (maybe I'm being a bigot to myself; this is my space so if you're uncomfy, discontinue reading). It's not that the Oyeks were a bad bunch, in fact they were, and are, up to this day, well-esteemed in their hometown province in another part of Quezon (especially our immigrant lola who the neighbors all remember fondly). It's just that sometimes it's different when you're family and that was the 80s.

In retrospect too, I think about how cool it was of my dad to risk raising ire like that. He did try to fight for my mum, but in the end other circumstances proved bigger than the two of them (or three of us). Pogi points to Papa who celebrated his 15th death anniversary last Feb. 12.