May theory ang matalino kong syota na, "garbage in, garbage out," kaya siguro dahil puro katamaran ang iniinhale ko nitong mga nakaraang linggo, katamaran din ang dinidighay, binubuga at inuutot ko. Oh well. Let's try to shake off the laziness and do something productive here. Let's catch up! Hullo, my faithful onion-peeler blog.
Getting Over My Fear of Airports and Being Home
One day and a month ago, I was in that airplane en route home. Giddy and excited, I couldn't wait for the plane to finally land so I can run the length of NAIA, gather my things fast, and give my aunt, who I'm sure was waiting outside, the moment's tightesthuginthewholecity.
As soon as the plane landed, I jumped to my feet, got my stuff from the overhead compartment, and was just about prepared to remove anyone standing between me and my love(s). Until finally -- the sight of mousy brown interiors so unlike any other airports in the world colors my view. Hello, Manila! I've missed you.
Doctor-cousin-Jengot was waiting for me outside. And then, we proceed to exchange the tightest hug we've ever given each other in all the 22years we've been cousins.
Let the mush-fest begin!
Finding rhythm
Earlier today, I was chatting with a cousin over at YM. She was telling me how recently she has been feeling like an absolute wallflower. But in the whole 25 years I've known her, "boring" or "uninteresting" would probably be the last adjectives I'd associate with her. She kicks major men's ass playing basketball, never had trouble using her wit, and has been to so many amazing places I can only dream of exploring, so she certainly doesn't need help in the interesting department. However, I do think her present environment isn't doing much to make her more interesting.
I think when people stay in a lackluster environment for so long, especially when they keep to themselves for a long stretch of time, there's a tendency to burn out and just let yourself fade. Like you forget how it is to be the person in your old photos, the one smiling genuinely because you're someplace that feels so comfortable.
Embracing Familiar Objects
The first morning in my old room was both strange and familiar. A bit strange because, heller, I slept in my old room! In a new bed! And the walls have been repainted hospital-green! How my old room looks now certainly is weird, mukha syang supot-na-joke, but I could forgive whoever did that to her because I was just glad to be waking up in a very safe place; one that knows no insomnia and offers the kind of weather that was far from being alien.
(It's bedtime, let me fastrack a bit) Seeing friends bit by bit, getting to bug my titas, receiving hugs from Marco, inhaling the air, walking around UP, conversing with manong taxi drivers were like taking these small steps leading to Maniel. Not to say that they've led me to "rediscovering the old nyel," definitely not because in the course of a year, it's only logical to expect that things would be different -- look what it has done to my old room (made it look like a joke! heheh), to my old familiar Munoz feels new (which underwent a major upgrade - it now boasts of a cinema-equipped Walter Mart!), and to the people I was only too happy to see.
So, no, it wasn't a trip that made me "rediscover my old self". But it was rather similar to Peter Pan seeing his old shadow again, chasing after it, then catching it, and, finally, sewing it on the soles of his feet just so he could walk with more ooomph knowing he has the shadow following him.
There's nothing like a 10-day-break to regain the spring in your steps you have been sorely missing.
Postscript 1: Sorry sa mga hindi ko na nakontak, like Emma, JPaul, Polly, Ian, Charls, Claire and Rach. Kinapos lang talaga kasi sa oras. Promise, babawi ako sa January. :)
Postscript 2: Art studies posse, I left my SD card, the one with all our photos, in Manila. Paumanhin. Um, popost ko na lang next year. :D
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