worms for the the new year

the past few days had me nearly hyperventilating. the cause? barely 15minutes after opening my pc, the whole thing would freeze. new processes, folders would refuse to open and the thing just won't properly shut down. i really thought Lappy the pc is giving out on me or has some serious memory problems which i'd be helpless against since:

a.) i didn't bring my installers and drivers here (stupid!)
b.) i wouldn't know how to ask them japanese computer guys to fix my pc problem, and even if i could ask our Japanese school person to help me --
c.) i don't think they'd be too happy to help me fix Lappy, since well, I'm kinda using a pirated program

so like a lover spurned, i was walking around for days worried sick in a state of panic and melodrama. hindi makatulog, hindi makakain, hindi ma-feel ang Happy New Year.

but yay, after a few sleepless nights and bugging the boyfriend to help, finally weeded out what's been causing Lappy's diminished health -- a few worms and 2 viruses. (okay, isa pang stupid move - not having any antivirus programs while brazenly downloading/watching countless TV shows).

which brings me to the point i'd like to make, i really am internet depedent here. it's my social life. my getaway. my version of SM North Edsa here in Fukui. the internet holds one of the key to my staying powers here -- as long as i can talk to my friends online (ym), get updated with some of the more important things going on in their lives, I'll be fine.

hence, the thought that if Lappy dies, being alone and friendless here would become too unbearable. i'd be too miserable. and i'd probably resort to these two desperate options:

a.) pack my bags and leave for home, quick! but well, i can't really do that now since airfares are too expensive because of the holidays. i'd have to wait until february til they're normal again. february? that's a whole month of being internet-less, multiply-less at home. nah, that's way too long.
b.) acquire a new laptop. pero wala pakong budget. *sniff. it'd mean being in debt for a while. which would mean being morally obliged to stay here longer to pay off the new laptop cost. (and i soooo wanna go home!)

so ayun. buti na lang happy ending. well, not quite. i still have to end (a few) processes everytime i log on. but at least now i get a bit of my internet life back. and i can sleep and eat normally again. allow me to say this though: (in jologs arm-raising, finger-pointing mode) SH*T NYO, WORMS, VIRUSES, TROJANS! PH*KYO, y'all! INTERNETSCUMS *^^$%#*^#&^@&* %#*^#&^!

HAPPY NEW YEAR to EVERYONE! :)

liars go to hell

nyel: gusto ko nang umuwi

che_limjoco: aaaw

che_limjoco: oks lang yan

che_limjoco: mainit dito

che_limjoco:

nyel: mas gusto ko yun! alien ang lamig

nyel: galing akong xmas party tas ok naman, got to hang out w/ students and they were an okay bunch. it's just that they're not people from home

che_limjoco: haha, i know what you mean.. somehow

nyel: nice sila pero alien e.

che_limjoco: hahahha

che_limjoco: minsan naman kahit dito madaming alien e

nyel: tsaka, well, ang "palabas" ng school namin, taga-chicago ako!

nyel: (taas-kilay smiley)

che_limjoco: (laugh-trip smiley)

nyel: totoo! may ganung eklat na kunwari "native speaker" ako. kaya siguro hindi rin ako comfy about sharing too much (w/ the students). ang hirap magsinungaling at gumagawa-gawa ng mga kwento, potah.

nyel: hindi ako consistent. nakakainis.

che_limjoco: (laugh-trip smiley)

che_limjoco: soooo funny

nyel: oo, nakatawa talaga! to think kahit kuko ko hindi pa nga nakakatapak sa Chicago!

che_limjoco: "oh yeah, i lived in chicago for 3 years.. oh, was it 4?"

nyel: actually, hindi lang 3 or 4… 20!

nyel: wah. i hate lying about it. how can you consistently lie about a nonexistent 20-year life?!

che_limjoco: (laughtrip smiley –kanina pa sya tumatawa, at this point masakit na ang tiyan nya)

che_limjoco: omg!

che_limjoco: 20 years??

che_limjoco: so talagang dun ka lumaki, ganun?

nyel: oo, kunwari.

che_limjoco: hahahha

nyel: as in, mare.

che_limjoco: pagbalik mo dito, pathological liar ka na

nyel: ayoko ngang tinatanong ako about my “life in Chicago”

che_limjoco: sabihin mo na lang you don't want to talk about it. coz you don't like your past. like may family issues ek

nyel: true. hindi talaga ako consistent– like dati, ang press release ko, dun ako pinanganak. pero masyadong malaking kasinungalingan kaya pag may bagong nagtatanong, sinasabi ko na lang, nag-“migrate” kami dun when I was 3.

nyel: well, i do say i came back to the Philippines 2 years ago.

che_limjoco: which makes you more in tune with reality

che_limjoco: hahhahaha

nyel: so most of the time i just focus on my wonderful life in the Philippines.

che_limjoco: ye ye, ganun nga!

nyel: feeling ko nga nag-su-suspetsa na yung iba na taga-Pilipinas talaga ako

nyel: (which somehow makes me feel worse because i really don't wanna lie about it)

che_limjoco: hhahahahahaahhaa

che_limjoco: tangina. riot yan!

nyel: i don't really care if they find out what’s true.

nyel: like, yung school naman yung may idea na magsinungaling ako about it.

che_limjoco: hahahah

nyel: so yun, gusto ko nang umuwi.

che_limjoco: hihi

che_limjoco: medyo mahirap nga yun

che_limjoco: pero nakakatawa

nyel: oo, no. at hindi pa yan ang punchline.

che_limjoco: omg! hahahha

che_limjoco: ano???

nyel: apparently, they can't pronounce "maniel"(it'll sound like a twisted version of "manueru"). so I go by my 2^nd name -- "Grace".

che_limjoco: (intense laugh-trip smiley)

nyel: (flashes the loser smiley – for myself)

che_limjoco: rotfl!!!

nyel: ok.instead of letting you just laugh at me, i'll laugh with you now. (tawa, tawa)

che_limjoco: hindi ko alam yan ah. matagal na yan??

nyel: um. since october.

che_limjoco: waaaaaaaaaaaaaahaahahahahhahahha

nyel: tangena, 1 year of this? shet.

che_limjoco: natatawa talaga ako mag-isa, PRAMIS!

nyel: promise raich, ns-stress akong mag-tahi-tahi ng mga kwento.

che_limjoco: sorry ha, hindi ako makaempathize ng maayos, ang hilarious kase

che_limjoco: hahahhahah

nyel: oo, nakakatawa naman talaga e. hindi ko nga makwento dati kasi eto yung tipo ng dilemma na nakakahiya na nakakatawa na nakakaungkot.

che_limjoco: naalala ko hindi ako pumasa sa UPCAT kasi quota course kinuha koi didn't pass by 0.03 points.

nyel: ay potah, sayang!

che_limjoco: inoffer sa akin, creative writing. sabi ko sa sarili ko, magaling na ko magsinungaling, i don't need a degree for it

nyel: (tawa, tawa) bat di mo kinuha?

che_limjoco: e kasi feeling ko ganyan mangyayari sa ken YAN mismong nangyayari sayo.may tendency ako maging schitzo e

Grace Rafael: anubahahahahaa. lost. hindi ko magagap pati tamang emosyon.

che_limjoco: hahahahha

che_limjoco: ANUNG MAGAGAP?? hahahahhaha tanginang tagalog yan

che_limjoco: TAGA PILIPINAS KA NGA!

nyel: hahaha. taga-quezon lang.

nyel: gagap = fathom

nyel: so my canadian co-teacher must think I’m this antisocial colleague

che_limjoco: hahahhahaha

che_limjoco: whut-evaaah!

nyel: che. heheheheh

che_limjoco: hehehehheheh

che_limjoco: sobrang napatawa mo ko hahhahaha

che_limjoco: relak-relak ka lang... isipin mo na lang, it;s the best opp to reinvent yourself

che_limjoco: magagawa mo yung mga gusto mong gawin, etc.

che_limjoco: hirap lang baguhin ang kwento ng past

nyel: true. anyway ayun.

che_limjoco: hahaahah

nyel: actually, korek ka. hindi naman sya depressing. pathetic lang. (taas-kilay smiley)

che_limjoco: tanginang smiley yan hahahahha

The Purplechickens launch Girls, Et Cetera

And it's going to be a brilliant album, so do drop by. December 13, 9pm at Club Dredd Eastwood. Imago, Duster, and the Lowtechs will also perform.

panahon ng hinagpis

galing sa blog ni Liam:

Prof. Monico Atienza also passed away this afternoon.

Hindi ako makahinga. Nakakapanghina. Nung freshie palang ako, si Sir Monico ang isa sa mga unang propesor na nakasalamuha ko sa KAL. Kailangan kong gumawa ng paper nun para sa KAS at may nagturo sakin ng kwarto nya. Interbyuhin ko daw tungkol sa First Quarter Storm. Wala pa talaga akong masyadong alam nun tungkol sa mass activism o SR movement. Para talaga akong tanga habang matiyaga akong pinaliliwanagan ni Sir Monico. Hindi ko na masyadong maalala kung ano yung mga eksaktong sinabi o kinuwento nya sa akin, pero natatandaan ko kung gaano ka-impassioned ang Propesor habang nagbabahagi ng partisipasyon nya; partisipasyon nila.

Medyo maswerte pala ako nun kasi natsambahan kong good mood sya. Sa pagdaan ng panahon, malalaman kong may "moods" pala ang Sir Monico. Pero nasa moda man syang nagsusungit, hindi nakakalimot ang butihing matanda na mangamusta. Hindi rin sya nagsasawang magpaliwanag. Isa si Sir Monico sa pinakamagaling at pinakamabuting guro na nakilala ko.

Hindi man lang ako makakapunta sa burol nya. :(

Nasan man sya ngayon, may he rest in peace.

Single? Mingle!

Posting this for a friend, Len Lo.

---------------

Join My 20 First Dates Speed Dating event!
on November 29, 2007, a Thursday. at the
Soho of Astoria Plaza in Escriva Drive, Ortigas.

This group is for the "Any" Community
for ladies aged 22-29 and
gentlemen aged 25-32

the ticket price is P800 includes
dinner, drinks, 20 dates, prizes and giveaways!

Please visit our website and register at
http://www.my20firstdates.com

This event is brought to you by
GSM Infinit' and Astring-O-Sol Specialist!

--------------

Frannie, ever tried any of these things?

Trix, a different distraction. Might get yourself off books and aussie Bs. :p

Jess, the lucky one might be waiting-to-be-found here!

Anyhoo, for all you know, this might be fun. Try anything once, dears.

(and well, i'm guessing, the guys here might be different from the ones we usually associate with. what the heck, if you have the time and the buck to spare. :p )

while we're at it, miss ko na kayo!

("hi" na rin sa lahat ng nadamay)

turn up the volume, please

They're finally here!

(Make me an envious witch and attend the launch; it's not every year you get to meet girls who'll sound this good.)

relationship in a slideshow

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relationship in a slideshow

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the start of the housekeeping adventure

Earlier today, the boss took me to the discount store to buy some curtains and a fold-up bed. My first ever curtains -- fascinating! :p

Because I was feeling girly, I chose the ones in old rose (not the yellows, the blues or the whites -- since it's my house, gotta have a little tinge of pink, bebe!) I'm planning to make my small room a total chick unit. haha.

Homesickness aside, I'm really excited to live on my own. Maybe I will discover a Martha Stewart lurking within me.

;)

Learning to do housework is actually one of the reasons why I wanted to work and live overseas. My bestfriends and boyfriend know how hopeless I am when it comes to taking care of myself - I can't cook to save my life (case in point: I managed to turn kropek into charcoal and pancakes into something my usually matakaw lil' bro just won't touch) and I'm a total slob; totally hopeless when it comes to keeping my room spic-and-span (um...i have too much papers and readings, like those Kom 2 readings from 2001 or Philippine Art readings from 2002. They might come in handy, you know).

So I'm kinda hoping my pink curtains bring salvation. Lately, I've managed to fry edible porkchops and fried chicken - something my lil' bro ate and actually found yummy. Oh, and I've mastered the art of making French Toasts, too. Look Marco, I'm cooking! :p

Next stop: getting acquainted with the washing machine and making nice Mr. Vacuum.

(pictures to come soon!)

the start of the housekeeping adventure

Earlier today, the boss took me to the discount store to buy some curtains and a fold-up bed. My first ever curtains -- fascinating! :p

Because I was feeling girly, I chose the ones in old rose (not the yellows, the blues or the whites -- since it's my house, gotta have a little tinge of pink, bebe!) I'm planning to make my small room a total chick unit. haha.

Homesickness aside, I'm really excited to live on my own. Maybe I will discover a Martha Stewart lurking within me.

;)

Learning to do housework is actually one of the reasons why I wanted to work and live overseas. My bestfriends and boyfriend know how hopeless I am when it comes to taking care of myself - I can't cook to save my life (case in point: I managed to turn kropek into charcoal and pancakes into something my usually matakaw lil' bro just won't touch) and I'm a total slob; totally hopeless when it comes to keeping my room spic-and-span (um...i have too much papers and readings, like those Kom 2 readings from 2001 or Philippine Art readings from 2002. They might come in handy, you know).

So I'm kinda hoping my pink curtains bring salvation. Lately, I've managed to fry edible porkchops and fried chicken - something my lil' bro ate and actually found yummy. Oh, and I've mastered the art of making French Toasts, too. Look Marco, I'm cooking! :p

Next stop: getting acquainted with the washing machine and making nice Mr. Vacuum.

(pictures to come soon!)

my high school boys

Boys i stalked on TV

Griffin, Party of Five (circa 1996)

Played by Jeremy London, Griffin was the high school rebel who fell for Neve's character. Or was he an OFY?

...I no longer remember the specifics of that drama, but when I think of Po5, I think of Jeremy London. Oh, that puppy-eyed stare, checkered polo and irresistible sensitivity.

(what girl from the 90s didn't like sensitive in her boy?)

Logan Echolls, Veronica Mars

V. Mars' epic love. Logan was rich, (secretly) nice, had a sinister smile, and was witty and charming.

If I was Veronica, I'd get scared too. (and therefore, also plant tracking devices on the boy's car)

Lucas Scott, One Tree Hill

High school fantasies won't be complete without a varsity player. (haha) So here he is, the requisite basketball athlete. But of course, Luke (played by Chad Michael Murray) is not only cute. He's also (drumroll, please) sensitive.

this is wrong.

Nyeta, hindi na kayang i-deny ng sikmura ko. Milo Ventimiglia is hot.

Shit. (good shit, haha.)

(for the milo-hayden tsismis feed, go here)

this just in:

my work visa arrived today - a few weeks too early! uh-oh.

and i was really looking forward to going home first. :(

Words to Live By

Works by Andy Warhol.
(from facebook's art feature. ngayon, naiintidihan ko na bakit addictive sya!)

what would you choose?

a. "get a second shot at childhood -- everything will be brand spanking new." There'll be winter, autumn and spring. Sashimi can be bought off the supah. You'll be drinking tea (for health) and going to bathhouses (for vanity).

b. "go back and come home to me."

marco

Happy birthday, marco!

TEA
from Rapture by Carol Ann Duffy

I like pouring your tea, lifting
the heavy pot, and tipping it up,
so the fragrant liquid streams in your china cup.

Or when you’re away, or at work,
I like to think of your cupped hands as you sip,
as you sip, of the faint half-smile of your lips.

I like the questions – sugar? – milk? –
and the answers I don’t know by heart, yet,
for I see your soul in your eyes, and I forget.

Jasmine, Gunpowder, Assam, Earl Grey, Ceylon,
I love tea’s names. Which tea would you like? I say
but it’s any tea for you, please, any time of day,

as the women harvest the slopes
for the sweetest leaves, on Mount Wu-Yi,
and I am your lover, smitten, straining your tea.

On fraternity hazing.

Who 's responsible for the death of Cris Mendez?

Nakakalungkot at nakakasuklam na sa dami nang nabiktima ng fraternity hazing, kailangang may mabiktima ulit.

Hindi sinasadya?

Napuruhan lang?

Lasing nung ginagawa ang initiation rites?

Pweh. I wonder what sort of sick excuses could be running on the minds of the guilty party. Paano kaya sila nakakatulog/nakakahinga/nakakakain nang hindi nila naiiisip yung accidentally e napatay nilang neophyte? Neophyte na iniwan lang nila sa tapat ng Veterans' Hospital na parang hit-and-run victim. Ganun na lang yon? You can't even honor him in death? The guy took his chances and subjected himself under your whims. So much for brotherhood. So much for the fraternity's claims of honor, priniciple, and balls. The mighty brotherhood doesn't even have the decency to owe up to the grave consequences of their mistake and say sorry.

Nakakasukang magkaroon ng mga ganitong klaseng kaeskuwela.

On a related note, the peyups forum discussing fraternity hazing and the Cris Mendez incident.

http://www.peyups.com/posts.khtml?mode=viewtopic&topic=26286&forum=1&start=330

miss-mushy

Because i`m too lazy to post a decent blog entry (notice how my blogging habits merely produces tags or results of self-indulgent quizzes?). Well, here we have a list of things I wish I could have brought with me to Ramenland:

1. Tambay. Whiling away the hours in Cubao, Katipunan and Timog. I miss getting my coffee fix and chatting the night (usually a friday or saturday) away with my dear, equally talkative friends. (marco/trixie/mine/checo/anji/carl)

2. Being a groupie girlfriend. Oh, I super miss going to Manox gigs! Taking pictures (from one angle only because I`m usually too lazy --or shy-- to look for better angles), talking to Grace and Rom (the Purple chicks), listening to GAS-induced conquests (c/o the Manox boys), and trading punkrock stories.

3. Watching gigs. Drinking my usual bottle of Red Horse. And, aside from the Purplechickens, seeing Imago, Peryodiko, and the Itchyworms, among others, play live. Can you believe it, umalis ako and then them Manoxies gigged with Rivermaya and the Wuds? Wah, ingget. These days, the only gig I get to attend is that of ASAP. So much for dressing up for the TV set. (thankyou, tfc).

3. Pigging away. With chinese officemate Iris, Nancy, Rienne, etc. Or with the Marco-shippers, Claire and Raich. Miss taking the chow with a healthful dose of chismis.

4. Going to the movies. I miss escaping to the dark, comforting halls of our moviehouses. In kolehiyala talk, "Super mahal the moviehouses here." And, well, I would have loved to catch A Love Story. Somebody score me a pirated copy, please. :p

5. Watching plays, checking out exhibits. FOA-mode.

6. Going to work. (And this is how much I miss Manila. I miss going to work, gaddamet.)

7. Going to church.

8. Marco. The tambay, away, kape, pelikula, chika, quiapo, pier, dibidi, etc., etc. (nos. 1-5) I miss the boy`s company, his physical presence, and, uhm, his own brand of charm. (btw, it`s Makoy`s birthday on September 14. Send him lotsa luv and greetings, folks! ;p )

So I was hoping to get Ethan Hawke, but instead... (another quiz)

Your 80s Hunk Is

Bill Gates

Who's Your 80s Hunk?

the quiz says so: i AM disgusting (what 80s toy are you?)

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?

You're a Garbage Pail Kid!! You're dirty, foul, disgusting, and wrong. But you're still funny as hell.
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Knew it! (what famous artist are you quiz)

What famous artist are you?

You're Van Gogh!! You're dreamy and disconnected at times, and you have a funny way of showing your love (*cough*chopping-off-ear*cough). Still, you know how to capture the world's lonesome beauty like no other. Your art is your life. Cheers! Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Knew it! (what famous artists are you quiz)

What famous artist are you?

You're Van Gogh!! You're dreamy and disconnected at times, and you have a funny way of showing your love (*cough*chopping-off-ear*cough). Still, you know how to capture the world's lonesome beauty like no other. Your art is your life. Cheers! Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Funky Lola Earrings

Tired of the usual garden-variety earrings (literally, those fit to be worn only in uncomfortable garden parties)?

Think it's not so chica bumping into someone else (be it a friend, an acquaintance, or a frenemy) wearing the selfsame earrings hanging onto your lobe?

Mine, Riza, and Ros thought so, too. All self-proclaimed hikaw fanatics, they came up with the concept of creating one-of-a-kind (yet still very affordable at less than Php100/pair) hikaws! Made mostly out of wooden and glass beads, the earrings they create employ colors reminiscent of our local textiles (they're all locally well-traveled, by the way, being market researchers by day). So if you're looking for a funkier alternative to your Swarovskis or pearls, why not go the Frida Kahlo-route and opt for colorful, earthy beads instead?

As an added treat, each pair will only be created and sold once. Yes, once. Even if you kick, beg, or hurl pearls their way, these designers are not known to relent. Oh, and did I mention each pair goes by a quirky name?

Below are the latest creations. Have fun browsing!

"Cowboy"

"Saranggola"

"Daddy Long Legs"


"Mestizang Uod"

"Wapak"

To place orders, contact them through the following numbers: 0917-8978562 (Mine), 0917-8502849 (Riza), 0919-2394114 (Ros).

For inquiries, drop me a line or email Mine at atzmine@yahoo.com.

name numerology

There are 15 letters in your name.Those 15 letters total to 72There are 7 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 9
The characteristics of #9 are: Humanitarian, giving nature, selflessness, obligations, creative expression.

The expression or destiny for #9:The expression that you exhibit is represented bythe number
9. Your talents center in humanistic interests and approaches. You like to help others as you were intended to be the 'big brother or big sister' type. You operate best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion, and allow yourself to be sensitive to the needs of others. You work well with people, and have the potential to inspire. This suggests that you could successfully teach or counsel. Creative ability, imagination and artistic talent (often latent) of the highest order are present in this expression. It's possible that you're not using or developing all of these capabilities at this time. Some of your talents may have been used at an earlier time in your life, and some may still be latent. Be aware of your capabilities, so that you can make use of them at appropriate times.

If you are able to achieve the potential of your natural expression in this life, you are capable of much human understanding and have a lot to give to others. Your personal ambitions are likely to be maintained in a very positive perspective, never losing sight of an interest in people, and a sympathetic, tolerant, broad-minded and compassionate point of view. You are quite idealistic, and disappointed at the lack of perfection in the world. You have a strong awareness of your own feeling as well as those of others. Friendships, affection, and love are extremely important.
Undeveloped or ignored, the negative side of the 9 expression can be very selfish and self-centered. If you do not actively involve yourself with work that benefits others, you may tend to express just the opposite characteristics. It is your role to be very involved with other people and their needs, but it may be difficult for you achieve this role. Aloofness, lack of involvement, and a lack of sensitivity mark the low road of this expression.

Your Soul Urge number is: 5

A Soul Urge number of 5 means: The 5 soul urge or motivation would like to follow a life of freedom, excitement, adventure and unexpected happening. The idea of travel and freedom to roam intrigues you. You are very much the adventurer at heart. Not particularly concerned about your future or about getting ahead, you can seem superficial and unmotivated.
In a positive sense, the energies of the number 5 make you very adaptable and versatile. You have a natural resourcefulness and enthusiasm that may mark you as a progressive with a good mind and active imagination. You seem to have a natural inclination to be a pace-setter. You are attracted to the unusual and the fast paced.

You may be overly restless and impatient at times. You may dislike the routine work that you are engaged in, and tend to jump from activity to activity, without ever finishing anything. You may have difficulty with responsibility. You don't want to be tied down to a relationship, and it may be hard to commit to one person.

Your Inner Dream number is: 4
An Inner Dream number of 4 means: You dream of being a very solid citizen that people can depend upon. You strive for organization and predictable order. You want to be recognized as a person with a plan and the discipline to make that plan work like clockwork.

*must my name be so contradicting? tsk.

some thoughts

* saw ep mich's new pics over at friendster. seems like she was able to go around Vegas and pay her brother a visit in california already (which is a really, really good thing). having a sad moment, i sooo miss the girl terribly. nothing beats a bestfriend mall/ donut/ cake/ food/ laet/ laugh/ tsismis-fest. i wonder when that'll happen again. :((

* today is rienne's (good friend from the office) goodbye-day. now, i don't have anybody to take roundtrip mrt rides with and discuss the usual venomous thoughts. haha. kinda sucks, actually.

* (not just because marco is my Significant Bother and/or i find the other Manoxies -- and their girlfriends-- nice, wonderful, funny people) but I really, really wish the Purplechickens would release the Girls, etc. album already! (can't wait to overplay this cd - hanggang magasgas! :p wanna have girl in a bathtub, girl discovers speech, patihulog, and all others playing over and over again on phoebe the player)

* happy birthday, trixie! we should have a drink (wine? beer?). let's toast your 24 years of being the smartest bimbo on planet art history philippines. :) wuv ya! i'm betting wonderful things will happen to you this year. maybe a guy. a spaniard (ahah!). or an english rockstar/poet gentleman. haha. watif?

This is me, whining.

(warning: move on to other blogs - like those on my "i love" links- if you don't like whiners or you're unforgiving of people who are mababaw)

Oh, it’s been waaaay long since my last (non-quiz) post! What have I been up to? Work, work, and (even more) work. I miss the slow pace afforded by the MA lifestyle, the bumming around, endless TV time and penniless mall-hopping. Well, maybe not so much the last part, because I do enjoy the yummy lip glosses I now get to enjoy. But I miss having time at my beck and call.

The other night (Thursday), saw me at SaGuijo with Mine, Peter, and a bunch of other Art Studies people (to watch Waterbased, Laya and Avie’s latest musical collab with former officemate Manny). I was feeling so exhausted that day – actually, this exhaustion I’ve carried around for about 3 weeks now. Mostly, it’s because of my workload, with deadlines and new annual report proposals appearing like white hair. Partly, it’s also because of my insistence to make life as leisure-filled as before, when I didn’t have daily work to think about. As I have been complaining to Mine that day, I just feel so exhausted. Aside from the various deadlines I try so hard to meet, I guess it has to do with wanting to be available for so many people - to my aunt and her PC demands, to Michelle, her troubles, and new Las Vegas life, to Ysa in Canada, to Trix (new work!), Froi (what about our planned SEA trip?), and a bunch of other people like Marco (regular quality meetups), my mom in Japan, Rach and Deb who recently arrived from Taiwan (have to have dinner with the cuz and bestfriend- on separate occasions), help Jen-Jen out for her interview, etc.

Really, there’s only me to blame. For wanting life to be as normal (and fun) as my pre-work days. For wanting it to be filled with coffee afternoons, weekday dinners, weekend movies, late night gigs, long phone conversations, YMs, etc. I love these people to bits and immensely enjoy their company, but maybe I just have to deal with the fact that now it’s really impossible to make myself as available as I used to be. Trix calls this, “part of growing up.” To me, it’s giving in to the boredom of work life, and I really don’t want that. But then with this constant need to get to talk to them on a regular basis, on top of the deadlines I have to take care of, what suffers is time for myself. My room’s been so messy (like a bodega). Was supposed to start a raket with my Mom selling bags from Japan (Europe-made ones), got around to taking the pictures but been delaying uploading them and making the descriptions to get it underway. And lately, been reading and writing (for myself) less and less. As a result, the work I’ve been turning in has been trite and crappy.

And still, there are other complex (but really unnecessary) concerns bugging me - like the strangers I associate with at my daily commute- the preggies and oldies at the MRT. Since I’m lucky enough to get my ride (and seats most of the time) at the North Ave and Magallanes station, it’s excruciating having to argue with myself- should I give them the seat I fought so hard for? Pero…nahihrapan sila, what would your father think of you, what if that’s your mom/aunt or future you? etc. Shit, it’s really a cause for guilt on my part. What do you do? Sometimes I give in. Other times when I’m feeling selfish, I don’t -- and worry about the string of bad karma I have just put upon myself.

I’ve gotten around to doing some things though. For years, our dog has been largely neglected (I know, I know – I’m trying to rectify past mistakes though). Gave in to the guilt and have been buying him his daily supply of food. Pero dahil labas sya ng labas (for company or for a good beating from other doggies, I don’t know), his coat’s been in bad shape. Anyone know a good vet- not too expensive and just around the QC-Roosevelt area who can help treat his skin condition? Since he’s already quite old, I do want his snowy-white skin restored before anything happens to him, oh, and get a good checkup too.

Heck, lately I’ve even been missing the Purplechickens’ gigs! Which reminds me: a big round of applause to the boys, the Artists’ Circle and everyone who chipped time and effort and painted some panels of the video. Dream Systems won 1^st Place at the Best in Animation category of the GawadCCP! A much deserved win, after 2 years of meticulous watercolor labor. Wow, the Manox are officially an award-winning band. And now there’s an award to stand witness to the Manox love-fest! Click this link to view the video.

I have to stop whining now.

I just miss having a life. Maybe I’ll get to attend the next Manox gig/victory party at the next Killer Set. And pretty soon, get around to taking care of that bag business. Just need a day or two to spend with myself (to pause and catch my breath), have a cake, catch up on TV shows I’ve been missing and listen to some new music. Oh, just need to recharge and then... will be seein’ ya soon!

"With great power..."

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